Following Bliss

I know many people will call me a quitter for doing this. And I am sure that many will raise their eyebrows, some will even get disappointed for this decision that I'll be making. But I have to live the kind of life that I wanted and not the one expected of me.

I have decided to follow my bliss, to help people in different way.

I know the road won't be easy but I'm confident I can make it.

I'm no quitter when it comes to things that I badly wanted.

Going Out of Comfort Zone

Photo Source

I think this homebased job is my comfort zone. I don't have any tinge of fear dealing with it. However, at this point, I've realized that I need to grow as a person. I wanted to go beyond my comfort zone. I wanted to face my fears with eyes opened. I wanted to realize my fullest potential.

Thus, I have decided to accept the offer. The offer that I believe could help me ease my fears on a lot of things, including those that I wanted to deal with since I was a student. 

Yesterday's my first day and I don't know but I feel bad for feeling dumb. It's as if I started from scratch again. My emotions are like telling me to stop it and just go back to what I used to do and what I love best to do. But something's not right. If I quit now, I wouldn't be meeting my goal. I wouldn't be facing these fears. 

I love writing and still looking forward to become a clinical researcher one day. I know that this experience will help me face future fears associated with those dream jobs I'm eyeing for. At this point, I know I just have to be really patient with myself. I have to read more, learn more, and become more open. Besides, nobody become an expert in one day, right?

When In Doubt, Just Try

Traveling did really something good to me. It made me welcome uncertainties with a smile. It made me more courageous in stepping beyond my comfort zone and fulfilled me in ways far better than material things.

It's been days since I arrived from my recent Camotes Island trip. It was one of those impulsive decisions that I made. 

I was in the midst of my work when my high school friend ask me if I can accompany her in Camotes Island. She told me that her two other friends backed out and she doesn't want to enjoy the island alone. I was quite hesitant to accept her invitation because of 2 reasons: 1) it's Thursday and I still have tons of work to do and 2) my funds are allotted in a special project. But I guess I can't resist the itchy feet so I accepted her invitation and enjoyed 2 days in the awesome, awesome island of Camotes!

Random Thoughts on a Sunday Morning

taken at around 5am

Sunrise

One of the things that I'd like to achieve this year is to come up with a daily schedule that would force myself to wake up really early. Not just because of the benefits of doing it (fresher mind, etc) but also because I wanted to witness the sunrise and to workout (brisk walking lang - hehe) more often. 

Friendship, Carbs Overload, Healing the World

Saturdays are extra special because it's like friendship day for me. Most of my friends have work from M-F so we only get to catch up every Saturday (since Sunday is always family day for us). Last night, Crisline, a close friend since high school and I meet at Boyd's. It's a small, local restaurant with good food. It specializes on pasta and garlic bread ;p

Carbs overload: Isaac's pasta, pasta with pesto sauce, Jeff's meaty pizza (not in the photo) and garlic sticks

dahil wala ng garlic loaf bread, garlic sticks na lang :) 

We spent hours talking about our work, future career and travel plans, and even came up with projects that would hopefully, somehow, make this world a better place :) 

Kung ano man 'yung mga projects na 'yun, I'll reveal it real soon if nag-materialize na ;p 

Have a great weekend!

Ounce of Inspiration

Steve Jobs' message for the 2005 graduates of Stanford University left me thinking, 'is this really what I wanted?'

The following are just some of the lines in his speech that I like the most:

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards."

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith."

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. "

"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking."

"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

For inspiration, I read my journals (I've been keeping journals since I was 11 years old). Two of them which were written when I was in high school talked about competition, my first love, and it showed my passion for writing and arts.  

Right now, I'm thinking of pursuing what I want, that is, to become an entrepreneur/designer. It's a tough job but I know I can make it. 

Hope and Courage

In times of fear and intimidation, I want to be reminded by this poem:

Reaching Your Dream Takes Courage

Courage is admitting that you're afraid and facing that fear directly. It's being strong enough to ask for help and humble enough to accept it.

Courage is standing up for what you believe in without worrying about the opinions of others. It's following your own heart, living your own life, and settling for nothing less than the best for yourself.

Courage is daring to take a first step, a big leap, or a different path. It's attempting to do something that no one has done before and all others thought impossible.

Courage is keeping heart in the face of disappointment and looking at defeat not as an end but as a new beginning. It's believing that things will ultimately get better even as they get worse.

Courage is being responsible for your own actions and admitting your own mistakes without placing blame on others. It's relying not on others for your success, but on your own skills and efforts.

Courage is refusing to quit even when you're intimidated by impossibility. It's choosing a goal, sticking with it, and finding solutions to the problems.

Courage is thinking big, aiming high, and shooting far. It's taking a dream and doing anything, risking everything, and stopping at nothing to it make it a reality.

~ Caroline Kent ~

Choice

There are only two things in this world that make my heart leap: arts and entrepreneurship. And now when I finally decided to go back to school, I'm torn between taking up Fine Arts and a bachelors degree in Business Administration.

Ang hirap pumili!

By the way, I bought two books yesterday: one is for arts (guide to drawing caricatures) and the other one for finances, investing, and stuff. 

How I wish puwedeng ipagsabay ang 2. I would be the luckiest person on this planet if I could enjoy both worlds..

Passion and Dreams

Traveling.Lomography.Polaroid Cameras.Arts.Nature-Tripping.

These things are all I can think about these past few days. 

Monday is Monday (will be back to school soon!).

God has better plans for me.

I believe in that. And so the "late responses" or unanswered prayers may open doors to BETTER opportunities, BETTER career.. 

Dreaming Big

All along I thought I don't know what I wanted to do with my life. But guess what? I finally figured it out. I actually figured it out A LONG TIME AGO. I just don't consider it as a 'job' because it's passion for me, a hobby, and surprisingly, a stress reliever.

I've always dreamed of owning a company someday. Oh yeah, dream big and never settle for mediocrity! 

'til next post! 

xoxo

Just Do It!

It's been weeks since I've last updated this blog and I've been missing this A LOT. Uhm, so what's up? How are you?

Well, if you'll ask me how I've been, I'm good. I applied to 2 tertiary hospitals but was not accepted. I got an opportunity to apply for a postgraduate study scholarship at Taipei Medical University but didn't pursue due to time constraints =( 

Anyways, let's move on. 

Okay, here, with all the calamities occurring all-over the globe, I came to realize that life is precarious so you've got to live your life, I mean each day of it as if it's your last (I know it's a cliche).

Sounds corny but I want to spend my life in helping people and in creating good changes in the society. It's not just all about the money, it's about fulfillment. 

Snapshots from yesterday's muni-muni:

I took these using Nokia X2

I was reading my previous entries in my diary when I saw these! I'm a frustrated fashion designer, okay? LOL.

And when I'm super stressed, nothing beats the joy from eating this delicacy from Cagayan!

By the way, have you seen the super moon? Instead of taking a pic, I've accidentally recorded a video of it. It was 5 am..

See you soon!

Blah

I'm an ambitious person (in a good way). I've always  wanted so many things at the same time. At some point, I wanted to pursue fashion merchandising and design and weeks after, I want to get Education units. I've also dreamed of becoming a newscaster, chef, chemist/chemical engineer, travel writer, model (yay!), and a doctor. One time when I told my friend that I wanted to take this course, she raised her eyebrows and asked me: sure ka na ba? That's a predictable response from someone who knows that I'm beyond being unpredictable. 

Mom's right. There's no shortcut to our dreams in life and I need to FOCUS on one thing AT A TIME. At present, I wanted to pursue Chemical Engineering. It's the course that I'm supposed to take back in college but due to some pagpipilit I took up nursing. 

Hmmm..Chemical Engineering..

Chemical engineers work on a relatively larger scale than what chemists do. They can work in different industries - from pharmaceutical to textile companies. As they say, chemical engineers can do just about anything! 

I just need the sign =)

Bounce Back

Last week has been a tough ride. You see, it's been two years since I've graduated from college and my career path is still not in a good shape. Yes, I've been working as a writer but I have something else in mind. Reading other people's blogs made me realized that I've been caring too much about other people's opinions and expectations (of which I shouldn't). This is why, I came to a decision of diverging my path. 

Friday will be the judgment day (I'm talking about the last sign). I believe that I can DO more and help MORE PEOPLE if I start acting now. So this is it! 

I Don't Know

For the nth time around, I feel like wanting to leave this field again. I don't know what triggers this emotion. I'm in a dilemma right now. If I would leave this profession, what would I do? Will pursuing Chemical Engineering a good choice? I've been really praying hard for Him to give me some signs. I know God's plans are better than mine so I put my entire trust unto Him. 

Hai, whatever...

I'm tired of thinking and of crying for days (4 straight days!). This isn't healthy and definitely, not the solution to my problem. 

Creating My Bucket List

Bucket List #1: Lose 4 lbs!

Bucket List #2: Improve my posture (promise!)

Bucket List #3: Try the zipline =)

Bucket List #4: Sign-up for martial arts training ^_^

Reading Again

When things get blurry it's nice to seek inspiration from books. And I'd say they are one of the best sources ever! I'm back to reading once again. I borrowed a book from Grace (Purpose Driven Life) and my brother surprised me last night with a Nicholas Sparks book: Dear John. It's a sweet thing of him to borrow the book from his girlfriend. 

Anyway, the books had somehow gave a sense of purpose and direction. I may not ave the answer yet for what I'm searching but at least I already have an idea and by now, knew what to do to make it happen. Definitely, things happen for a reason and we are not an accident. 

Career Wise

I just don't need a job; I want a career. This quarter life crisis is driving me crazy - sleepless nights, unnecessary stress, and to top it off - acne breakouts. One of the best articles from a life coach I've read so far mentioned in her article that it's important to define first your purpose in life. Combine it with the things you're passionate about  and that gives you a career. 

If money is not a concern at all, I would like to be part of a creative team. It would be great to do some production/costume design, graphics, and even tokens. I would LOVE to do that forever! But life is not just about dreams I need to feed myself and be financially prepared for a better tomorrow. 

I've talked to a lot of people and most of them would tell me to stick to something that would make me financially stable. I think I couldn't stand waking up each day and do something that my heart's really not into it. 

I still feel like a lost child.

I hope someday, somewhere in the midst of this journey, I'll be able to find the answer.

Baby Steps

I took my friend's advice of finding out what I really want to do before I turn 23 next month =) I'm sure I would love to be a doctor (that's my dream) but at the same time, I also aim to become a chemist (so ano ba talaga?). I browse the PinoyMD forum and the discussions were helpful. I could relate to the sentiments of doctor wannabes. A common advice that doctors mentioned in the forum is to think not once but MANY TIMES if you really want to be a doctor. Sabi nga nila dapat GUSTUNG-GUSTO mo maging doctor. If that's the case you can take the sleepless nights, frustrations, and all the downsides of being a doctor. Someone even mentioned of getting first a BSN degree and to be a nurse para at least may second option ka pa if you feel like quitting. 

I want to become a doctor but felt like financially incapacitated to do it. At this point, I want to enjoy muna my life as a nurse. Just like medicine, nursing is also a humbling profession =) As for becoming a chemist, let's see if I still want it a few months from now =)

25 @ 25

Before I'll turn 25 which is 3 years from now, I would like to achieve the following:

1. Visit Vigan!
2. Wakeboarding (anywhere)
3. Learn how to surf (preferably at Siargao)
4. Know how to converse in foreign language (aside from English)
5. Spend a few days in Cebu with my family
6. Wall climbing
7. White water rafting with my father and brothers
8. Launch the public library
9. Three-days stay in Batanes
10. Open a craft shop business
11. Shop 'til I drop experience in HK
12. Learn how to cook Asian dishes (aside from Filipino dishes)
13. Get another certificate/diploma (Psychology, MAN, BS Chem or Entrepreneurship)
14. Practice my profession in a hospital (as staff not trainee)
15. Lose weight (48 kilos)
16. Learn how to drive
17. Get a driver's license
18. Attend a martial arts school
19. Find my soulmate =p
20. Buy "Biboy"
21. Start paying for "Maya"
22. Full payment of my St. Peter plan
23. Expand my RTW business
24. Start drafting my next business venture
25. Submit my designs

Hope(less?)

It's definitely not fair for people around me to be affected just because I got so disappointed for not being able to find a job in a hospital. This sucks. I'm tempted (a lot of times) to venture to other fields but I'll surely miss my profession. Siguro nga mahal ko na 'to kaya't mahirap bitawan.

I've been having this bad day. My parents keep on asking me what's wrong but I simply tell them that it's nothing although this hopelessness is creeping and tearing me inside. I don't want to lose my optimism. I know that this plight will soon end. I just have to keep going.

Main Line and Side Drip

I can't believe that my blog's turning 2 this December - isn't that awesome? lol. I feel like a zombie right now. I hit the bed at around 2 am for research and article writing. Anyway I'm done with it so I have my whole time this morning to clean our house (yup, only this am). I have to go back to work by pm and attend mass as well. 

I'm here again for career exploration. Reading my previous posts made me realize that there's only one thing that in this world that we really want to do. Everything else are just distractions or  are just better to be considered  as 'side drips'.

This 'me time' moment makes me think of saving lives. I love the feeling of being able to help other people especially in the aspect of health. The best time to describe that feeling was last year when I'm having my DR case completion in a nearby lying-in. It's not easy to wake up in the wee hours of the morning but the feeling after having delivered the baby is all worth it. The 'thank yous' are more than enough for the hours of sleep that you missed.

Therefore, I came into this conclusion. My main line is in the aspect of healthcare (would still pursue Medicine though it may take some time d/t financial issues). Side drip(s) shall be in the aspect of business and arts (would love to do a sideline on interior design/virtual merchandise while working or while living my life as a doctor =)