For the 4th Time

I'm so sleepy but before I head to my room, let me just post this..

This is my fourth time of experiencing this excruciating pain of admiring someone (or loving him?). I really couldn't tell whether it's plain admiration or already l-o-v-e. I heard something about him and the news crushed me. I know I don't have the right to feel this way or to react in this manner for I'm merely a humble being admiring someone like him. Gosh, I even don't know why I feel this way. This is wrong - totally unplanned. I want to 'love again' but certainly not this time, not this way, not with him.

I want to let go of whatever I have for him inside.

Urgh!

This feeling sucks..